Answering Some Questions:
Moi:
I grew up a curious person and my parents fed that curiosity. They let me explore nature and the world around me. Personalities are built in childhood by observing parents, the family atmosphere, and general life experience. "Know thyself" still holds true since Platonic days.
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Do I look dark in the self-portraiture? How about in my art? Life and death is a part of the cycle of life. I've been exploring the universe since childhood (in other words: thinking about the universe). I read about it. I dreamed about it. I designed for it. When it came time for me to make the money I needed in order to be able to afford to construct my products, some people destroyed everything they could about me as a result of their selfishness. That's why some things don't exist. I didn't make them yet. These same people, and a recent collection of others, have been attacking me in rather unconventional ways as a result of misunderstandings, jealousy, and an inability to comprehend some things.
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I fabricate my own art. That means I physically made it out of materials I purchased with the job I had for the last 30+ years! In addition to that job, I hadf other jobs, raised and then homeschooled my son meaning that I had to educate myself in order to be able to teach him. I did that! And now he's a hard-working student in computer science with a 4.0 GPA. I'm not rubbing that in anyone's face. I'm explaining to the PhDs who can't comprehend how I got to know more than they do. Stuffy much? Your arrogance eating at you? People can learn with or without school, and many of us do that because we have a natural inclination to be curious about some things and we pursue them. Anyone is capable of that, but some people have been cheating and trying to steal things from the minds of others by using A.I. and decoding people's thoughts and images... I'm guessing cuz they're not creative enough to design their own things? Pragmatic design is a great move into the future. It's not wasteful. Products can be both practical and beautiful. Why the hell are so many people against me for having an opinion??? To have your own opinions is one thing, but to force harm on other people as a result of your opinions or hurt feelings is violence. I cannot believe people went so far as to waste the last 5 freakin' years of my time with their numbskull vengeful games! Grow up! Most of you are middle-aged adults and you behave like children. Even as a child I wasn't as immature as some of these attackers. And even though I admit to making mistakes, I only made them once (in most cases) and then didn't repeat them. Some people take it upon themselves to self-correct and I don't need some control-freak jerks forcing change on MY brain as if I need them to change it for me. WTF is wrong with this world that people would go so far as to abuse technology like that???
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Some people got upset that I have "too many skills"> I worked hard for everything I have!!! Do not ever degrade me for having more skills than you. You want skills? Build them your damn selves!!! Don't you tread on skillful people who work hard for everything they have. They earned it. And HOW they work is NONE of your damn business! We do what we do how we do it because lives are PERSONAL. Some idiots with no boundaries are attacking a bunch of people around the world including me and my family and friends and I won't freakin stand for it!!! Grow up! And teach your children to not be vengeful ****s like some of you. What excuse do you have to do anything less??? So what if people make more money than you? Go do something to earn your own. So what if people look better than you? Do something to look how you like. Improve yourself and feel good about yourself instead of making others feel crappy about themselves. Destructive jerks! Behave! What excuse do you have not to? Childhood wounds? So f'n what? Who doesn't? Waaaah and boo-hoo. I'm not insensitive but come the **** on!!!... You know better than to mistreat people out of jealousy, out of hate, out of ... what's your problem? Speak with a psychologist. Those are for religious people, lol... atheists seek "therapy" with therapists. Sometimes friends are therapists, too.
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You don't see a friend in me? Then you're not looking at the right things. "Love" comes in all different forms. Clearly, some of the people surrounding Starset, Breaking Benjamin, and some other bands misunderstood me.
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Writing a song on the spot:
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I have seen the world around me
With the wonder in my eyes
I have questioned what's above me
I have danced with the stars... I
Have more questions
Finding answers
This universe is
Vas-ter than we know
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I have seen the past
Looked beyond this and that
I've tra-veled far
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The kindness I encountered
The understanding eyes
The love that surround-ed me
Was broader than the
Spark of
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Let the lightning speak the truth
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Can't you see the suffering I see in you too?
Can you feel my heart the
Way that I feel yours?
Can you measure?
Love is treasure to us all
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The natural resonance draws
The truth will rise again
On our long road
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[I hope thie above is a song that resonates with all different kinds of people as "humanity" is a broad spectrum of light | A rainbow beyond | An arch of time ]
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I write them as per my heart and I could barely keep up with myself sometimes. I've been writing poetry and songs (mostly melodies) since early childhood. It's natural. What happens to any of us when we pursue our interests and likes is that we build skills. The best thing anyone can be is themselves because how do you know what skills are secretly hiding in you if you haven't tried to follow the passion of your heart? Follow your heart, but lead with the mind. I've telling telling people that for years and I think some of them listened and built wonderful things :) None of them owe me for anything. That said, some people think that everything inside of me is free for the taking. Why the **** would they think that? No one should ever mess with anyone's brain! build your own skills.
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Perhaps some people don't comprehend that the type of "freequencies" games they're playing are causing emotional, psychological, and physical harm to all types of "people" including some super-sweet alien races. They're literally impacting space-time and they don't even seem to care!
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I feel so bad for people all over the universe! All different kinds.
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Did you know that "vampires" are just people who eat red meet because their blood-type requires more iron than most? Also, they "renounced god"... in other words, they were atheists who eat burgers and people are flipping out and harming those "kinds". And witches are people who believe in different gods. So? So do Indians from India... and Buddhists... and druids. So freakin what? People have personal beliefs and some people are so self-righteous that they refuse to let others believe in their PERSONAL beliefs??? And you think your "god" supports that? Or is he just an old fogie who forgot to change with the times?
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People can believe whatever they so choose to believe for themselves, and it should be ok!
They shouldn't be "punished" by some self-righteous *****s who refuse to change. Why can't people just grow the **** up already??? Some of you are so stuck in the past, it's absurd! It causes violence among all people and I can't fathom that in 2026 some people are still so "young". Learn self-acceptance and then you'll understand. And some of you don't comprehend what pain looks like when it's in writing. You don't perceive emotional pain and psychological pain as equivalent to physical pain, but it is! And pain is personal based on our depth and perception and level of understanding. It's unique to the individual. Why in the world are people so unaccepting of individuality? Have you no respect for each other's boundaries? Do you need to get yelled at in order to comprehend that people have boundaries???
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And those who have been forcing various frequencies on my mind with the intent to harm and the intent to be mean... aren't you civilized enough to. have a conversation? You could have spoken with me instead of being so violent towards me. And those of you who think I "need" love... Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what I need and then to force it on me??? Force is violence, even if you have good intentions.
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Why can't people just respect each other? Is it so ****** hard? The answer is no... No, it isn't that difficult and if I can do it so can you. And self-respect sometimes looks like yelling. I am not one to tolerate some cowardly scumbags who attack my brain from some distance just for ****s and giggles. Grow up! Ask your parents, WTF is wrong with you. And if your parents suck (meaning they mistreated you) is that any reason to mistreat others? And if your girlfriends broke your hearts, is that any reason to mistreat other women who did you no harm? And if someone hurt you in childhood, face them and confront the issue. Don't freakin spread rumors and cause global problems just because you haven't learned how to deal with your feelings. Some of you have been carrying things for decades and you should ask yourselves why and who's really to blame. Stop misplacing blame. And what if some of you mistook my distance and tone and any other part of online communication... What if you mistook meaning or one-off circumstances and you freakin misjudged me and now you didn't factor in the math of just how many people are doing the same thing, and you're all inflicting pain on me via forcing stories and whatever it is you want me to see and feel onto my brain via hacked cell-phones and other tech. You people are destroying all of humanity! And if others are willing to tolerate this type of misdoing, then good riddance. And if we can't fight back... that's too bad for all of us!
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Some of you mistook my art to mean "change love". Change love to what? I never meant for anyone to change anything about themselves, just to look at themselves. I'm no one's judge and jury and some of you made stupid decisions, blamed me, and then took it out on me with violence. Even love can be violence if it's forced. Whoeevr is playing that game, that is not what the hell I meant by "mind-games". i am not the type of person who plays mind games. Some avoidant jerk forced me to run arround in written circles and created a mess, and now he wants to force me to love him emotionally. And some others in the music industry did that, too, and now your hearts are broken because that doofus convinced you all of I-dunno-what and he refused to face his own mistakes and a bunch of you blamed me and took your emotions out on me. I am sick of you all, an d no, I won't put it in a song! You idiots ruined my professionality (yes, it's a word. And if it doesn't exist, it's a logical word and it should.). You ruined my business. You ruined my path, my art, my life's work and all as a result of your arrogance because of what, you were too famous to talk it out with me???
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And those of you "reading" my mind just so you know how I feel... what business are MY personal feelings of yours? What right do any of you have to know how I feel until I tell you how I feel? if you want to know the truth about how I feel about you, all you had to do was ask me... face-to-face... personally. Or are you afraid to face me? Intimidated? Then I am not for you! Some people are not intimidated by me and I am only for those people. You don't have a right to change me, degrade me, slow me down, or interfere with my way of life as a result of your own feelings of inadequecy. Go see a shrink and figure yourselves out. What the hell kind of rumors are being spread around that some of you are literally putting your relationship problems in my mind so I can help you figure them out. Are you ******* kidding me???!!! What the hell is wrong with society to think it's ok to do that??? I am not a psychologist. I understand people beacuse I cared about a lot of people throughout my life. I am not an anything-you-lable-me, because clearly, you do not understand me as a person. First understand someone before you inflict any kind of pain on them.
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And some stupid jerks went so far as to cause me physical harm for years, make my body physically ill to the point that I needed surgery as they watched me on TV, suffering, and now they're too ashamed to face what they've done than to confess and apologize for their mistakes. But suuuure...they want me to love them emotionally, as if they freakin deserve love. Don't judge me for being physically sick. I am not a slob. You people who did that to me are cruel and heartless. I was too busy working to clean my house and I couldn't afford a maid and now you judge me for the way I live???! F-off from my life if that's the type of person you are. I am not for judgmental, uninformed, insensitive jerks. You want my love? Treat me right and man-up and show up, otherwise, f-off and go about your freakin life without disrupting mine.
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