POETRY (2021)
FATED
The texture of you
Is like a that of a dragon
Armoured
​
You smell like triumph and sound like balance
Wearing thoughts around your neck
So proudly
​
Your proximity causes my quiver
On a scale of Great
And I can't deny I fear
Collapsing in your presence
​
Like a Redwood
Stiff and
Graceless
​
Yet somehow you give me peace
And comfort
Like that cozy white blanket
In that place I call home
And I feel your softness
Cocoon me
From your distance
​
The Grecian vibe of you
Feels like before
And I missed you so
​
But you don't know
You won't know
Its truth
​
Until you're breathless
Weightless
In the space of my eyes
​
Somehow, I feel
You fear me, too
​
And its as senseless
As the sixth circle
As wax wings
As bee stings
​
We've both had enough
Haven't we?
​
But if not this time
The next will do
​
Just know
I miss you
​
The details
Are irrelevant
To our eight, for
​
We design our own fates
We are patient
We can w8
​
When it rains inside my mind
as it does sometimes
I think of you and the sun
shines its light inside me
and it's blinding
​
It's rewinding
And I see the eras passed
And I feel free at last
because I see infinity
And through it
I still want to be here
with you
as you are this time
​
and the next
​
and a thousand nexts...
INSIDE
​
So rarely seen
The depths of trenches, chasms, abysses
Souls
​
But I saw you see
Clear into me
And I still can't believe
Must have been a lucid dream
Make-believe, an induced scene
(And I keep making excuses)
​
But, you let me see, too
Clear into you
You invited me
Opened the door freely
​
I fought not to enter
​
Mesmerized
Paralyzed, hypnotized
By the depth of your eyes
Instantly blind-ed
By the light
You shined
​
At me
In me
Through me
And now I see
You left an open door for me
I didn't even need a key
But the space seems so empty
​
Like the rest in music
​
Building anticipation
Levitation
Calcification
Of the possibility
The near-reality
Taming entropy
​
Feels like eternity
​
space
less
​
time
less
​
more
​
I wrote this poetry for Dustin Bates of Starset in 2021. That's how I loved him. From a distance, since we couldn't align. Either someone convinced him otherwise or something else was going on prior to that that someone got upset that I loved him this way. Whoever lied or misjudged me or created problems between us... what kind of A0 would get in the way of this kind of love?
​
Since then, as a result of all that transpired between us, we obviously need to move on in our separate directions.
Love is not unconditional. It is contingent on circumstance. Proof of love is necessary. And for those who have been deliberately "reading" my mind and misjudging my every thought... get out. Thoughts and feelings are personal until action is taken to express them. The right way.
​
I am not for simple minds. That should be ok. Personal is personal and too many people wanted to break into my private life, drove me through hell by inflicting pain on my brain via deliberately transmitted frequencies with the intent to harm, and caused more heartache than imaginable to a boatload of people! I'm not ok with that, and I don't think anyone else should be either. Hearts are not meant for breaking. And love is not meant to be forced on anyone! Natural resonance helps us find the right kind of love for us. There are 9 billion "earthlings". Surely, the right kind of love can be found. We all have different depth. That's ok. That's personal. Instead of forcing, do those things that you love to do... hobbies, art, music, ice skating, whatever... and then you'll "run into" the love that's meant for you.
​
2602231248
Bojana [Randall] ANA333
​
The right man for me... he's out there somewhere and no one should be getting in the way of me finding him, or him finding me. And certainly, no one should be inflicting pain on my brain as a result of reading my neurological chemistry and being upset that I feel love. When I write poetry, make music, make art, or do anything I love to do, I fall into a meditative state and a natural state of love. Whoever is trying to attribute my every emotion to themselves has been misassessing. Why are some people so invasive? Minds should be private and a sacred space for the self. Individuality is a thing, in case some of you haven't noticed.
​
Someone has been harming me, my family, and perhaps others around me as a result of massive misunderstandings. Can't we clear the slate and start over?
​
Some people are so kind, so loving, so beautiful! They have good intentions. They are so understanding. That's love. earthings have that. I imagine Martians have that, too. And those from other worlds. The universe is ginormous; worth loving; worth saving.